The desire to be connected

Telephone and communication – changes over time

LL-DE/UK: Last year, an overanxious mother in England called her son on his mobile phone to find out how he did in his exams. Unfortunately, the exam had not yet finished and when the boy’s mobile rang, the teacher, according to the rules and regulations, had to take away the pupil’s exam papers and, as a consequence, the boy failed the exam.

The two sides of the coin

This shows the two sides of mobile phones. Mobiles can be a vital tool for communication between parents and children, for example, ensuring their safety. They can also become a tool of control and interference.

Similarly, using the internet can be a great help in learning, but research needs to be learned and knowledge about prohibited plagiarism and copyright should also be available.

The use of mobile phones at school is controversial, unlike the Internet. On the one hand, it could be very valuable for use in class, for example, for quick research; on the other hand, it can become a disruptive factor or even an instrument of bullying. From time to time, a ban on mobile phones in schools is therefore discussed in England. In Germany, mobiles are not allowed to be used at schools whatsoever.

Mobile phones – a new body part of young people

However, nowadays, mobile phones are generally indispensable.

A recent study in the UK by Childwise, based on a survey of 2167 young people aged between 5 and 16 years, into the use of mobile phones by young people revealed that most children in the UK own a mobile phone by the age of 7 and that on average pupils spend 3 hours and 20 minutes each day messaging, playing games and being online. More than half (57%) of those asked in the study said they slept with their mobiles beside them in bed as they were anxious about being separated from their phones. Almost 2 in 5 (39%) said they could not live without their phone. 44% said they felt uncomfortable if they went somewhere and there was no phone signal, and 42% admitted that they were constantly worried about running out of battery and could not use their phone anymore. What worries do these teenagers have?

I resisted mobile phones for a long time but finally gave in and bought my first little pay-as-you-go phone about 18 years ago, just for emergencies in case my car broke down, or to call ahead when I was running late or to phone my husband from the supermarket to ask if we needed anything else. I soon found out how useful mobile phones could be. Life has changed since then, and I have become used to my smartphone, but I also think that I am not and will not become so dependent on my mobile as the young people in the above study. After all, I grew up in a time when communication media were still extremely scarce or non-existent.

The old fashioned dial telephone is long outdated

Over the last three decades, technology has advanced greatly. Recently, a TV report presented two UK teenagers with the challenge of having to use a rotary dial telephone. This kind of phone has been phased out and superseded in the 80s with a push-button phone.

The poor teenagers, so used to their mobiles, did not have a clue how to operate them. The technical connection to the mobile phone had not been realised.

Times without a telephone

When I was a teenager, back in the 60s, we did not have a telephone at home. At that time, only a few people in our neighbourhood had a phone. Communication was different back then. Instead, we wrote letters, and postcards or visited in person. In case of an emergency, you either phoned a neighbour who had a phone and asked them to be so kind as to get your parents on the line or to give them a message; or you could send a telegram. However, telegrams usually caused panic among the recipients, because they were typically sent when a death had occurred. So, receiving a telegram was, therefore, often associated with receiving bad news. Even after my parents had a telephone at home, my dad, as a matter of habit, still sent a telegram when somebody died.

Worries and reassurance, then and now

The reason why my parents finally bought a telephone was because of me. Once, in 1969, I went out with my Vespa scooter and got delayed by more than 2 hours as I miscalculated how long the journey home would take. It was already getting dark, and my parents did not have any idea where I was and were very worried. How could I contact them to tell them that I was okay when I was on the road and had no public telephone around? Finally, I rode into a village to find a public phone box. Luckily, I found a shop open where I could change some coins. I called our neighbour to get word to my parents that I was on the way home, but would be late. Their worry was over for this day, but soon afterwards, they bought a phone, just in case something like that happened again.

After my siblings and I moved away from home, the telephone became a lifeline for my mother as she was able to keep in regular contact with all her children. She became the centre of communication within the family. If we wanted to know anything about each other, we just phoned mum. She was always informed, and she knew (almost) everything.

Constant phone calls even without a mobile phone

When I lived and worked in Berlin in the 90s and shared a flat with several people, the only phone in the flat was constantly ringing. After a while, the people I lived with insisted that I should have my own phone and fax as they were tired of answering the phone as 90% of the calls were for me. They steadfastly refused to act as my secretary, taking messages. Well, that was understandable. So, I got used to having my own telephone and fax machine, but in the mid-90s, I was in for a shock when I moved to London to study for a Master’s Degree. In the student hall where I stayed during that 1st year, I had to share one payphone in the hallway with about 20 others who were mostly teenagers and constantly on the phone. My best chance to get to the phone was on Sunday mornings at 7 am when the youngsters were asleep after a late night out.

Staying in contact from abroad

With the increasing use of the internet, WhatsApp, email and skype, communication became ever more versatile and convenient. Many of my friends are in constant contact with their children, whether they are living around the corner or travelling around the world on a gap year.

When I was travelling and working in Latin America in the 80s, communicating with friends and family was rather difficult. If I wanted to receive letters from families or friends, I had to plan my trip carefully and let them know where and when I roughly would be in a certain country and city, and for how long. When I arrived, I went to the agreed place, which was either the German Embassy or the Central Post Office (poste ristante), to collect my mail. Letters usually took between two and six weeks to arrive, sometimes up to 3 months. By then, the news was out of date.

Phoning would have been better but was too expensive. I remember well the few times when I could not resist the urge to phone Europe and hear a familiar voice from the other side of the world. I also remember the shock of having to pay up to US 120 for 3 minutes for that pleasure. When I worked as a journalist and wanted my articles to arrive quickly, I had to phone and read out what I had written over the phone, hoping the line was okay and the person, on the other hand, was able to understand and type up every word verbatim I was saying. Luckily, I did not have to pay for this phone bill. From the late 80s onwards, I started to use a fax machine in a central post office whenever possible, but in 1988 one page of the fax from Chile to Berlin cost me US $9. Needless to say, I didn’t use the fax that often.

The agony with the public payphones

Phoning home from abroad was not only costly but often also very troublesome. I remember the many times when I set off with a bag full of coins in search of a functioning telephone box.

The good old phone box - hardly in use nowadays

Usually, you had to queue and wait until the people in front of you had finished their conversations, only to find out that the person you wanted to talk to was not at home or the line was busy and you had to queue again.

Then finally, when you made it and connected with the person you wanted to speak to, you had to be quick to put the coins in to keep the connection going. When you were not quick enough or when you ran out of coins, the conversation ended prematurely, and then you had to redial or get more coins and queue again.

What a nightmare it was when you wanted to make a really urgent call and could not find an empty phone box. Then you had to queue and wait for hours until the people in front of you had finished their (what you perceived as trivial) conversations.

Or when you wanted to have a private conversation, but those waiting outside the phone box were eavesdropping on your conversation or signalling for you to hurry up.

Phone boxes in London mostly obsolete

Modern-day communications

Nowadays, with social media, it is so easy to send photos or videos, respond immediately or signal how you feel by clicking on a smiley. You can make long phone calls for free to anywhere in the world – given a good connection. I fully embrace the new communication tools as they enable me to stay in contact with my friends wherever they are. I enjoy my regular long skype calls with friends from around the world when we chat, laugh and joke and discuss politics and put the world to right. Therefore, I find it rather irritating when I want to communicate with people who are not connected in the same electronic way and then have to sit down and write a letter, buy a stamp and take the letter to a post box like in the olden days. However, somehow it does feel nostalgic when doing so.

I do not like phoning up people out of the blue as I fear I am interrupting them in whatever they are doing. It almost feels like visiting someone without having previously arranged to meet. Although, I am aware that agreeing to a certain time for a phone call takes away the spontaneity of the conversation. As the phone offers different ways of contacting somebody, I still prefer texting, sending emails or WhatsApp messages. That way, the recipients have the opportunity to read my message and respond at a time that suits them. The same applies to me, of course.

I do like the convenience of my smartphone, and I use it for more than just communicating. It also serves as a photo or video camera, and I can immediately find the answer to any question via searching the internet; helpful apps tell me how long I have to wait for a bus or show me which way to go; I can order goods online and read the news etc. I don’t have my smartphone beside my bed at night like the anxious teenagers in the study. That’s the time for charging in the living room. However, like them, I get irritated when I am in areas where there is a poor signal or no signal at all, and I make sure I always have my battery pack with me, just in case I run out of battery.

I have times when I do not want to be accessible, and I switch off my phone. I certainly do not want to have phone conversations when in a public toilet. Equally, I do not want to have to listen to other people’s private conversations on public transport either. I feel rather annoyed when forced to listen to other people’s conversations without the means to escape. I like to believe that I am in control of my smartphone use and, if need must, I could live without it like in the olden days. Life without my phone would certainly be calmer and less stressful as the pressure of having to know everything immediately would be removed. Still, I would greatly miss its versatility and the convenience of being able to connect to others.

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During the troubling times of the COVID-19 lockdowns (at the time of writing) when travels to other countries or visits to friends were not possible, modern electronic media proved to be a lifesaver. They enable us to escape from the isolation of lockdown by staying in contact with friends and loved ones. Imagine how we could cope with COVID if we did not have our mobile phones, or the internet, but were still living in an era without phones. Or imagine how it would be if we didn’t have electricity. Perish the thought.