Pandemic years 2020/21 - part 3: Chaos at all Levels

Spring to late autumn 2020

(DE) When the infection figures slowly fell in mid-April 2020, relaxations were granted. That shops beyond daily needs were allowed to reopen was good, that the outdoor area of restaurants and later also the indoor area could be used again was really very pleasing. But that hairdressers were allowed to open put an end to the wild growth on heads almost led to euphoric outbursts of emotion.

Order on the heads

Typical appearance in spring 2020: fuzzy hair and a self-sewn mask.

I took the first of two selfies with my Corona hairstyle in May 2020. Almost shoulder-length, stringy lacklustre hair stuck to my head, even when freshly washed. Even the round blow-dried fringes hung straight, shapeless and too long over the eyes after a very short time. Horrible! I looked horribly old and, even worse, unkempt. In recent years, I have constantly urged my increasingly demented mother to have her shoulder-length shaggy hair cut. She looked terrible, I told her ruthlessly. But it didn't help. My reflection in the mirror now bore a certain resemblance to the confused look of my old mother.

That's not me; that's not what I want to be! But, on the other hand, the hair would be long now, and one could work towards a long chic hairstyle. I didn't know what I wanted for a long time and therefore had no problem with the fact that I couldn't get an appointment at the hairdresser's anyway. Finally, I sat in front of the mirror at the hairdresser's and heard myself saying, "Short, please!"

I had to do something radical after this period of holding still and enduring. A reflex? A substitute action? A protest action against current events? A visible sign of a new beginning? I don't know!

But to this day, I also ask myself how it can be that the horror of the suffering of those seriously ill with covid, the death of so many thousands of people and the compassion for all those who have to fear for their livelihood, for their existence, moved me as much as the hairstyle on my head.

Chaos in the minds

Confusion also spread through the minds of myself and others, which could not be brought back under control by a visit to the hairdresser.

I intend I do not want to be blind, as one is often as a contemporary. On the contrary, I want to be alert and informed in this crisis situation.

My generation and all the younger generations had never experienced such massive restrictions on fundamental rights. Freedom of the person, freedom of assembly, freedom of religion, and freedom of movement within the federal territory were temporarily suspended. Even data protection, sacred at other times, was up for debate.

The fact that the federal government and the Bavarian state government restricted fundamental rights in the context of infection control cannot be taken lightly. Indeed, care must be taken to ensure that restrictions, including those on data protection, do not remain in place beyond the pandemic, or so I thought.

On the other hand, it was also clear to me that these measures protected people's health. After all, I consciously adhered to all the rules, convinced they made sense.

Nevertheless, I always felt the sting of mistrust and the need for mindfulness at that time.

I had always looked for a more profound background to political events because my grandmother had taught me early on that there were always two levels in politics: the generally visible and the actual reasons and causes. "Always ask who benefits!" was her mantra.

So I researched the origins of the pandemic in China on the internet and found that this country was also getting ready to buy up companies and corporations that might have gotten into trouble due to the corona. China had done the damage and positioned itself globally to profit from it. The Chinese propaganda machine even turned the tables and claimed that the origin of the pandemic might be in Europe, more precisely in Italy. Moreover, the Chinese government passed all the information to the WHO and other countries in good time. The latter, however, had failed, unlike the Chinese government, and now wanted to put the blame on China.

It is unbelievable. Was it possible that the Chinese rulers had accepted the pandemic because it increased the chances of China's political and economic expansion?! An outrageous train of thought, but is it also far-fetched?!

But I also took a close look at which German politician was making a name for himself with what and which companies or branches of the economy were earning money from the measures. Were perhaps measures taken that were useful for some but not necessary?

Scientists supported the measures and even demanded them. Moreover, arguments were presented and exchanged in the media, which was quite convincing.

However, the experts did not always agree either. One could read statistics proving that this pandemic was extremely threatening to the entire population and the opposite. Only a tiny percentage would fall ill! Only older adults with pre-existing conditions would be at risk, similar to the annual flu.

And voices were raised that brought up the collateral damage: psychological and physical effects in children and young people, such as depression, anxiety and obesity. Even the completely isolated elderly felt sad and abandoned; economic damage in the particularly affected sectors, build-up of national debt and a decline in economic growth, etc., were predicted.

I made the experience that it would not be possible for me to find out the hundred per cent truth. So I had to make a conscious decision to believe and trust some more than others. An experience too!

Nevertheless, I stayed on the ball as a critical observer.

It is evident to everyone that the Bavarian Prime Minister was presenting himself as a doer to possibly be put forward by the CDU/CSU as a candidate for chancellor for the Bundestag elections in autumn 2021. No conspiracy theory or outstanding research was needed for that. The pandemic actually suited him.

The fact that online shops and delivery services were booming and would probably save this order level beyond the pandemic was also not surprising.

There were true "war profiteers" in this pandemic.

And I also wondered how much this pandemic would help shape the future, even if it had long since subsided.

Would home office working become more prevalent wherever possible? Could this lead to less concentration of people in the expensive cities and instead lead to healthy growth in the rural, partly isolated regions? Would people's shopping and leisure behaviour change fundamentally? What would be the significance and atmosphere of city centres? One could see empty and dead city centres for the first time at the time of the lockdown. Spooky! How many gastronomy, travel, retail, art and culture livelihoods would disappear forever?

Like many others, I was witnessing the beginning of great social upheavals. Things would never be the same after the pandemic as they were before the pandemic. I was convinced of that. But was this an organically growing development or a controlled one? I couldn't quite let go of this question.

Almost caught on the hop!

"Querdenker" - a movement in Germany?

And then a trustworthy friend, whom I know to be an intelligent, sensible woman, sends me a video in which a presenter strongly relativises the danger of the coronavirus Covid-19. This video talks about Bill and Melinda Gates raking in millions for vaccinations with their foundation and wanting to influence population growth via secret side medication.

Bill Gates didn't exactly emerge as a philanthropic human whisperer during his time as a businessman. I don't have a lot of faith in him. But I don't like this blogger's exaggerated theories.

So I do some more research and end up with articles that are so absurd that they make you dizzy. Paedophile circles around Hillary Clinton would hold children captive in underground rooms etc... The virus doesn't even exist... Flu is more dangerous...

Politicians like German Chancellor Angela Merkel and doctors like Christian Drosten from the Charité would want to establish a dictatorship...

In fact, more and more people are taking to the streets and want to shed light on the so-called corona and pandemic lie. They call themselves lateral thinkers.

And now I am pissed off. For me, lateral thinking has always been a positive term because it means that you don't have scissors in your head that you question critically. You can imagine many options and scenarios and discard the ones that are not viable, and you research for information about backgrounds and motives and look for evidence and proof. In this sense, I have always seen myself as a lateral thinker rather than a conspiracy theorist.

But all this is not to be found among the anti-Corona cross-thinkers. So now the term is burnt for any serious lateral thinker. What a pity.

Quite uncomprehendingly, I see cross-thinker demos on television in which signs are carried comparing Germany with the Nazi dictatorship, in which calls are made for resistance, and demonstrators pin yellow stars to their clothing to compare themselves to cross-thinkers in the Germany of 2020 with the persecuted Jews of the Third Reich. And there are violent actions against journalists and dissidents. Right-wing groups are jumping on this bandwagon and are frighteningly successful in spreading their ideology.

The whole thing seems absurd to me, and I can't figure out what drives these people. This is no longer a critical attitude. Hysteria? Yes! Objective debate? Not at all.

I only calmed down again when a historian explained that this phenomenon also occurred at the beginning of the 20th century when the Spanish flu raged.

Apparently, many people deal with a crisis that renders them helpless in such a hauntingly brainless manner.

I read these days of the pandemic, "Branded. The True Story of Racism in America" by Ibram X. Kendi, published in German by C.H. Beck 2017, and found an interesting passage. Smallpox was raging in Boston around 1721. Kendi describes that at the beginning of the 18th century, influential citizens of the American colony learned from an enslaved person about a kind of preliminary form of modern "vaccination" that had been used in Africa for centuries to immunise against smallpox. The healers of West Africa took a tiny dose of pus from a smallpox boil and scratched the skin of a healthy person. This method was called inoculation. European physicians investigated this method with the resources of the time and recommended it to their compatriots in the colony. However, the highly respected physician Dr William Douglass in Boston saw his reputation in danger. He started the conspiracy theory that enslaved Africans were planning to kill their masters with this method. The newspapers spread this theory, and smallpox claimed many lives regularly. (see above "Branded", Ibram X. Kendi, p. 83/84).

Do some situations in history repeat themselves in such a fatal way?

But I have to say I underestimated the impact of this movement. In autumn 2021, the fourth wave of infections will build up, starting in southern Germany, and it is preparing to dwarf the first three waves. And all this despite the fact that there is now a vaccine against Covid-19. In Upper Bavaria and also in Saxony and Thuringia, esoterics, conspiracy theorists, lateral thinkers and, in some cases, right-wing followers are strong. They also have a conviction that is devastating in this case: they are opponents of vaccination. In the districts, especially in southern Upper Bavaria, the vaccination rate is about 53 per cent, but the 7-day incidence per 100,000 inhabitants in November 2021 is about 1,200. The intensive care units in the area are full.

Government failure

Instead of denying the pandemic and accusing politics of dictatorial desires, the responsible state organs could have been accused of a lack of crisis management in 2020.

Compulsory masks and lack of masks

After lengthy discussions between doctors, virologists and experts on medical protective clothing, as well as politicians about the benefit or harm of nasal mouthguards, compulsory masks were finally introduced in public transport, shops, doctors' surgeries, restaurants, etc... Yet, there were simply not enough masks to buy.

Indeed, I suspect this shortage was the real reason for the strangely controversial debate about the usefulness of masks. Buying time!!!

The opponents of compulsory masks argued, for example, that people would no longer observe hygiene and distance rules because of the apparent safety provided by wearing a mask. The improper use of a mask would even increase the risk of infection. Moreover, the protection is only indirect and minimal. The mask wearer releases fewer aerosols into the air and thus reduces the risk of infection for others. He himself, on the other hand, breathes in aerosols almost unfiltered.

So the mask filters when you exhale but not when you inhale?

I didn't quite understand the discussion. But it seemed to me that it was helpful to wear mouth-nose protection, however round it was. Unfortunately, you couldn't buy one at the moment, making the discussion about the usefulness seem strange—the evil of it all.

But people are always inventive in such situations.

So I researched on the internet what material I could use and how to make my mouth-nose protector. And I bought coffee filters because a doctor had recommended this mask substitute in a video and showed how one could easily make such a thing. However, I didn't have the necessary rubbers for the ear holders, and I couldn't find these parts anywhere either.

So I grabbed a tea towel and made a gigantic nose and mouth protector. Unfortunately, my sewing talent is very modest, so in the end, I resorted to the fabric masks of more talented contemporaries, which could soon be bought in health food shops and everywhere else.

Strictly according to the instructions of virologists, I only touched the fabric mask on the side after use, put it in a bag and boiled it out regularly. But if I wasn't supposed to touch the outside of the used mask and had to boil it because viruses might have collected on it, then I should actually have cooked myself and not just washed my hands for three minutes. I didn't quite understand that in my nitpicking, but I went along with it and didn't boil myself but the mask. You never know, and it doesn't do any harm. Probably!

Parallel to our attempts to produce all kinds of masks, government representatives and members of parliament from the federal states and the federal government were promoting purchasing and producing more professional surgical and FFP2 masks. There were a lot of offers from China, but they wanted to be independent in the medium term and ensure quality.

In the summer of 2020, the people had no idea who was sniffing out which business.

It was not until 2021 that the public learned that CSU politicians such as Georg Nüsslein, a member of the Bundestag, and Alfred Sauter, a member of the Bavarian state parliament and former Bavarian Minister of Justice, among others, had become involved as paid intermediaries in the mask business that was starting up and had earned millions in intermediary fees from it.

Others, such as the Free Voter leader and Bavarian Minister of Economic Affairs and Deputy Minister-President Hubert Aiwanger, awarded contracts to entrepreneurs who were friends of theirs and left out more competent producers with expertise in the production of medical products.

A Lower Bavarian car supplier company based near the Aiwanger homestead received the order for the mass production of masks. However, a company from the Augsburg area, which already had expertise in mask production and had also applied for an order, was hardly considered.

People and the media showed little understanding of such deals, which had to be dealt with by the courts. However, it turned out that this business acumen did not violate any legal principles. It was neither corruption nor bribery. Morally, everyone agreed this had been reprehensible for a representative of the people but criminally irrelevant. As a result, Alfred Sauter left the CSU more or less voluntarily but did not lose his mandate.

As a normal part of the population, it is impossible to understand why elected representatives can see an opportunity to enrich themselves privately in the face of all the misery, helplessness and urgent need. At the same time, there is a significant shortage. Some lose their livelihoods or even their lives, and others, whose job it would be to protect the population, rape millions.

Test chaos

The collection and evaluation of the tests of returning travellers after the summer holidays was also problematic. The Bavarian Prime Minister Markus Söder tried to make a name for himself by offering tests for returnees at the Bavarian border with Austria. Those who came from a risk area had to get tested anyway; all others could do so voluntarily.

Bavaria, and with it Markus Söder, was supposed to act as a bulwark against the return of the virus with the travellers.

But this prestige project went badly wrong and cost Bavarian Health Minister Melanie Huml her job.

Several test stations were set up at border crossings and on the motorway within a few days. The Bavarian Red Cross provided the staff, some of whom were volunteers. However, there was no appropriate software with which a functioning database could have been set up without an intermediate step. As a result, many test volunteers had to fill out forms by hand, which were passed on to the staff to enter the data into the system—a very time-consuming and error-prone method.

The BRK was soon overwhelmed by the volume of data, as were the laboratories. The Bavarian State Office of Public Health could not even notify those who tested positive quickly. Over a week, 44,000 people who tested positive were not informed. Nine hundred of them had tested positive.

They went their separate ways unsuspecting, met friends, relatives and colleagues and passed on the virus. A fiasco!

The procedure is supposed to have been made more efficient and reliable at the airports in Germany. But who knows!

Nevertheless, at the end of the travel season, the infection figures rose again. A second wave was building up, and no politician dared to contemplate another lockdown.

One almost had the feeling that politicians thinking and acting in campaign mode were waiting for someone to lose their nerve and be the first to impose a lockdown on the electorate.

Contact restrictions in nursing homes - a tragedy for my elderly mother with dementia

As before, however, nursing home residents were rigorously protected by contact restrictions. This greatly affected me because my demented 86-year-old mother could no longer be visited in the nursing home since the spring of 2020.

The situation was fatal because she had not been able to use a telephone independently for some time.

Since I did not live in the same city as my mother, I would have had to spend six hours there and back in full trains to perhaps be able to see her through a pane of glass or at the window. Staying in a hotel was not possible because of the infection control law and probably not recommended.

So I wrote funny cards to her and took advantage of the home's facility to at least have a telephone conversation with her from time to time via an intermediary so that I also heard from her and not only she from me. But talking on the phone was exhausting for her. And, of course, she didn't understand what was going on. She, who had been walking the streets of her neighbourhood every day, chatting people up mercilessly, was now not allowed to leave the house. She didn't understand. She didn't believe that everyone meant well to her. She became grumpy and finally very angry. When she threatened a flatmate at the end of the summer of 2020, she was taken to the psychiatric ward of the district hospital, where they hoped to be able to adjust her medication. I learned by phone that she had been suffering from Alzheimer's for a long time, a diagnosis that had not been communicated to me by her family doctor. But now the partly disturbing behavioural abnormalities added up to a clinical picture.

Surprisingly, I was allowed to visit her in the psychiatric ward of the district hospital.

In the late summer of 2020, the shops and restaurants reopened with restrictions such as mandatory masks, limiting the number of visitors, and hygiene concepts and the number of infected people was still low, but the pandemic was definitely not over. There was still no vaccine and no medication for therapy.

So it was a big deal to enter a place where sick people and people needing special protection lived. I was careful in my everyday life, but I was terrified of possibly spreading the virus to the old and sick.

My son drove me there, but he was not allowed inside because only one person was allowed in. I was frantic because the procedure was new to me then and very intimidating.

I had to ring the doorbell, disinfect my hands, and put on a mask. Then, after a while, a counsellor came and took my temperature and handed me the obligatory form on which I had to fill in my contact details and ensure that I had no symptoms of illness and had no contact with a sick person.

So far, so good!

Then I was led to a glass cabinet, and at the same time, my mother was also led there. She recognised me and was pleased. But this joy was soon over because we were only allowed to greet each other by waving at a distance and sat opposite each other at a large table with masks on our faces. I felt as if I were visiting my mother in prison. The allowed 20 minutes were over quickly, and my mother was very sad that we were not even allowed to shake hands, let alone hug each other goodbye. That would have been important to her because she could no longer keep memories in her head. She could only feel the moment of closeness for a moment.

After a week, she was sent back to the nursing home. It had become September in the meantime, a mild autumn announced itself, but also a new wave of infections.

My son, my daughter-in-law and I were not allowed to go to the nursing home, but because of the mild weather, we could take my now immobile and dozing mother for a walk in the park in her wheelchair. Unfortunately, she only gave us a few light minutes on our second visit. We were not supposed to touch and hug her, but we allowed ourselves a little stroking anyway.

She was handed over to us at the nursing home door, and we left her there slumbering. The whole situation was absurd and sad. We felt very helpless.

Then, at the beginning of October, the number of infections rose rapidly again regionally, and the autumn weather no longer allowed outdoor meetings. I was still allowed to enter the nursing home alone, but for how much longer?! My residence was becoming a high-risk area, so further restrictions on contact and movement were to be expected. So I planned my next visit as soon as possible and very meticulously.

I took the first-class train to keep my distance, but I didn't want to bring coronaviruses into the nursing home. So I walked from the station to avoid picking up anything on the bus. It was probably hysterical, but my fear of being responsible for the death of the elderly was enormous.

My mother was barely responsive at this point. She refused to eat and had only a brief lucid moment during my visit. When I left, however, she looked sadly after me. We both felt that we would not see each other again.

And so it came to pass. The place where I lived became a high-risk area in October, so it was not feasible for me to visit or even accompany her and stay overnight in a hotel. Clearly, my mother was dying, and the home would have even allowed me a farewell visit, but I had no chance to organise it safely for myself and the home. So when my mother died on 23 October, we were not with her.

Only my son and I were on her deathbed, but my daughter-in-law, whom my mother loved, was not allowed in. Only two people! But my mother was no longer present anyway. I felt that very clearly.

There is a lot to say that I acted wrongly in this situation and let her down. But there is also a lot to say that my mother would have approved of my actions if she could still have been asked. I will never know in the end, but I will spend the rest of my life wondering precisely that.

The funeral was held in the smallest of circles due to contact restrictions, but it was still very coherent. My son, my daughter-in-law, my friend from childhood and adolescence, who had experienced my mother as a young woman, and I were allowed to say goodbye together in a mourning room because we came from only two households.

As the three of us, my son, daughter-in-law, and I drove home together in the car; we suspected that we were heading for autumn and winter with high infection rates and profound restrictions. (TA)